Newlywed Life

So, Jason and I have been married 2 and 1/2 months! Woohoo newylwed life! In all honesty, nothing has changed between us, but sometimes it can feel different. Yes, my name change contributed to that feeling, but its more than that.

We both are working on our higher ed degrees, he medical school, I graduate school. That can be stressful in itself on top of living together, working, and being recently married. I think another factor is living together in another city apart from our families and friends. We have each other and we have both made friends here in New Orleans, but nothing beats spending time at HOME. When he can manage to skip a weekend of studying (and I guess from now on, me too) then we come home. The weekend goes by too quickly, and we hate to leave each Sunday. But knowing we're only less than 2 hours away makes us feel better about it.

Living together was really nothing new. We've been together almost 6 years this November, we've known each other since 2nd grade, and we have been exclusively living together since last July. We practically were living together for 4 years during college when he had his own apartment. The biggest adjustment has been sleeping in the same bed! OMG I hate our bed with a passion!!! Its so uncomfortable. You fall into the middle when two people are on either side. Having a cat who wants to cuddle between you doesn't help, either. I would never deny her love, but just sayin'. We finally flipped the mattress. And even though it wasn't the same on the other side, it worked 10 times better!

And you see? This is what I'm talking about by it seeming different. You start to worry about mattresses and cleaning dishes and who's turn it is to clean out the litterbox. Its so dumb but yet its really your life! I started to go stir crazy before I learned I was going back to school. Working and coming home to have to clean and cook and do nothing important was bogging me down. It was bringing me down and making me feel unworthy, like I was depressed to have nothing going for me in my life. Being unable to find work in your field is heartbreaking and shitty. You feel like you wasted 4 years of your life. I never thought I'd have to attend graduate school in order to work. I thought I could find something right off the bat. And I did, only it didn't suit me at all. Working among the mentally ill knowing some girl with AIDS just touched your desk and a guy with a history of violence is eyeing you down the hall? Uh, no thank you. Check, please. I cried to my then-manager. I thought it would be different. It was different, just not for my benefit.

I finally found something to get us by but I wanted it to be my in-between job until I found something suitable in psychology. Well, let me tell you friends, nothing is out there. For anybody! Anywhere! So, here I was working, going home, sleeping, working, going home, sleeping. An endless cycle of stress, depression, and cat poop. Sounds terrible huh?

What finally sunk in with me was reading the writing on the wall: I was watching Suze Orman on Oprah. Suze was talking to a young girl around my age about finding a job now that she's a college grad and how to manage her finances. When Suze asked the girl why doesn't she work in her field, the girl said she didn't like it anymore. Suze said TOO BAD! You worked 4 years on a degree you're not going to use?! How dare you insult you and your parents who put you through school!! The girl sucked it up, did what she had to do, and was living a better life.

I had never thought of it that way before. My parents were probably so disappointed I didn't work in my field, and they probably were never going to say anything either. I felt terrible. I knew the only way for me to work in psyc was to go back to school. Whatever the cost, it was going to better me in the long run in more ways than one.

I worked hard and it paid off. Here I am in my first class as a graduate student and it feels AWESOME! When people ask what I do, I tell them first I'm working on my master's, second that I work.

I've decided to turn this into my thoughts about living life as a young working, married, student and anything else I decide. You like?